Not sure which blogs the editors of the Onion have been reading, but I have to approve of their proposed model for explaining the low entropy at the beginning of a football game by recourse to an infinite series of downs before “first down.”
NEW YORK — Citing the extremely low level of entropy present before a normal set of football downs, scientists from the NFL’s quantum mechanics and cosmology laboratories spoke Monday of a theoretical proto-down before the first. “Ultimately, we believe there are an infinite number of proto-downs played before the first visible snap,” lead NFL scientist Dr. Oliver Claussen said during a press conference, adding that the very last yocto-down is a by-product of leftover fourth downs from this universe, as well as those from a theoretical universe running along an arrow of time concurrent to our own.
Probably some enthusiastic football coach is going to try to cash in by writing a book about the idea, while others fulminate on the sidelines about how such irresponsible speculation is destroying the game. (Thanks to Ahmet Toker and Tom Fishman.)
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14 responses to “Explaining the Arrow of Football”
you’re welcome!
The picture of the biologists/chemists attached to the article is somewhat distracting, though I suppose they are more recognizable as scientists at work than theoretical physicists.
My favorite Onion story is still Philandering String Theorist Can Explain Everything. 😀
Solid
Brilliant for the obvious reasons, but they even worked a pickle joke in there. Damn.
“while others fulminate on the sidelines about how such irresponsible speculation is destroying the game.”
Yeah, I bet Popper played a mean game of football. And Einstein would be horrified to see how the game is played these days.
[…] the original post: Football : 2009-09-29 […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiZt79UKUFQ
Interestingly, there are parts of the multiverse in which football really is a game played with the feet, but I don’t think these are observable from the United States (at least not without cable).
American football is a game named after the ball it’s played with.
Don’t tell Sean:
New astrophysical discoveries leave little to no room for Atheism, expert says
More from Fr. Spitzer: “this theory has become so scientifically solid, that 50% of astrophysicists are “coming out of the closet” an accepting a metaphysical conclusion: the need of a Creator.”
Clearly that must be a hoax, as we are reliably and insistently told that science and religion are completely non-overlapping magisteria.
Who created the creator?